


Maybe (IDK)

by orphan_account



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern: Still Have Powers, Attempt at Humor, Childhood Friends, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Families of Choice, Fluff and Humor, Gay, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, M/M, Marching Band, Nonsense, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn, Teenage Dorks, Teenage Drama, Theatre, and now i'm writing this to cope, hi guys my senior year got fucking CANCELLED
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:46:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23430397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: So here’s the thing.It’s not like—Taako’s not—it’s not as if Taako didn’t understand the point of getting an education. Generally, in a generic, general sense, Taako was pro-education. Like, super pro-education. Learning was dope. Knowing shit was, in fact, dope.Knowledge is power and all that jazz.But also…Gods, did high school suck major ass.
Relationships: Angus McDonald & Taako, Barry Bluejeans/Lup, Kravitz & Angus McDonald, Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone), Lup & Taako (The Adventure Zone), They're! All! Friends!
Comments: 36
Kudos: 49





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi
> 
> this one's gonna be a bit messy, folks. not to get, like, Real Life Serious on you guys, but... i was supposed to graduate next month. i'm not going to. it's been hard, coming to terms with the fact that there's a lot of things that i'm just not going to get to do, y'know? no last day of school, no final musical, no last concert, no prom, no hugging my friends goodbye. i'm going to university in another fucking country, and I didn't even get to say goodbye.
> 
> SO I'M PROJECTING THIS EMOTIONAL TURMOIL ON BELOVED FICTIONAL CHARACTERS
> 
> am I just writing a synopsis on what the last semester of my senior year should've been? yes.  
> but please go with me on this one, guys.  
> i promise it'll be good.
> 
> hopefully.

So here’s the thing.

It’s not like—Taako’s not—it’s not as if Taako didn’t _ understand the point _ of getting an education. Generally, in a generic, general sense, Taako was  _ pro- _ education. Like, super pro-education. Learning was dope. Knowing shit was, in fact, _ dope _ .

Knowledge is power and all that jazz.

But also…

_ Gods _ , did high school suck  _ major _ ass.

Like.

Honestly.

Who thought shoving a bunch of sleep-deprived, hormonal adolescents in a room together and telling them to  _ sit still  _ and  _ be quiet _ and  _ pay attention _ while some stuffy authority figure in a shitty pressed shirt and khakis droned on and on and  _ on and on and on _ about the most boring shit in the universe was a good plan?

But because the world was, apparently, inhabited by  _ idiots _ , no one had thought to consult with Taako before creating their  _ lame as hell _ education system, and so now Taako and every other being on the planet had to suffer.

Case and point?

_ Trigonometry _ .

Why did triangles need their very own math? Why couldn’t they just use the same math as literally every other shape? And, more importantly, why was it so important that  _ Taako _ , who was going to without a doubt either be a baller wizard or a rich as fuck famous TV chef, had to learn about it?

“Fuck,” he said, slamming his own head down on the desk in front of him.

“You can say that again.”

“ _ Fuck _ .”

“Are you getting any of this? Like, really?” Magnus asked quietly, and Taako looked over his arms to see what it was that Mr. Jenkins was writing on the board.

“Absolutely fucking not, my dude,” he replied.

“ _ Shit _ .”

“Yeah,” Taako agreed. He stared at the board for another minute. “Don’t worry, I’ll just—like, once I actually fucking pay attention and see what we’re trying to do, I’ll figure it out, but as of right now? Ch’boy’s got  _ nothing _ .”

Magnus groaned.

“How much longer ‘til the bell rings?” Taako asked.

“Uh… fifteen minutes, I think?”

“Cool, great, okay, fifteen minutes,” Taako stated, staring down at the paper he was  _ supposed _ to be writing trig notes on. “Fifteen minutes. That’s only, like. Five minutes three times. That’s practically nothing. I’ve got this. Natch.”

“You alright there, buddy?”

Taako sighed, pulling his pen out from behind his ear and twirling it between his fingers. “Just fucking—absolutely peachy. Just trying not to, y’know, completely die of boredom.”

“That’s fair,” Magnus said. “Think you’re gonna make it?”

“Depends. Wanna bet how many post-it notes I can throw into Edward’s hair before he notices?”

“Oh, dude, it can’t be more than, like, eight, not after the shit you pulled yesterday.”

“I think I can get at least fourteen, and it hurts that you don’t have more faith in me.”

Taako managed to land eleven perfect hits before Edward turned around to glare at them, his hot pink cateye glasses almost thrown off his face by the force of his head turn.

Taako bit on the side of his fist to keep from laughing, and beside him, Magnus seemed to be close to shitting himself in an effort to contain his laughter.

Which. To be fair, Edward  _ did  _ look ridiculous with pieces of neon green paper stuck in his elaborate silvery-lavender hairdo.

The other elf slammed his hands on his desk and seemed to be about to say something that would no doubt be pretentious and insufferable when the bell rang, and instead, he was nearly stampeded by a rush of high school students desperate for escape.

Taako slung his bag over his shoulder, snatched up his staff, and raced out of the room before Edward could get out a single word.

He had jazz band last hour, and Dav would fucking  _ kill him _ if he was late.

By the time he reached the band room, everyone else had already set out their chairs and stands, most of them already tuning and going through their warm-ups.

But they could all  _ eat a dick _ for all Taako cared because none of  _ them _ had to run all the across the school from the fucking  _ math wing _ , so.

Fuck.

Taako tossed his stuff beside the marimba before rushing over to where his amp and cords and bass were all leaning up against the wall and picked them all up in a truly remarkable and seemingly impossible feat of strength that he must’ve rolled  _ at least  _ a sixteen on.

“Just make multiple trips, dingus.”

“I’d rather die!” Taako shouted, huffing for breath as he sat everything down in its place beside Barry’s keyboard.

The shouting really wasn’t necessary, seeing as Lup and the rest of the trumpets were literally  _ on the other side of Barry’s keyboard _ , but it felt like a statement that should be shouted, and Taako was nothing if not committed to the bit.

Jazz band was…

Chaos.

The saxes all sat in the front row, with Creesh on first tenor, Carey on first alto, and Killian on bari. The trombones stood behind them, with Merle on first and Avi on bass bone, and behind  _ them _ was the trumpets, all standing on fucking chairs like idiots, mostly because they  _ were  _ idiots, with Lup leading the godsdamned charge. The rhythm section (or as Taako liked to call it, the  _ not-dweebs _ ) were clustered in the corner to the right of the band. Barry played keyboard. Magnus  _ used  _ to play the set, but then he’d had drop so that he could go play fucking  _ basketball _ like a  _ loser _ , so now Julia played the set, which was honestly probably better because she was less likely to rush and also didn’t constantly break sticks.

Taako played bass. He’d started on guitar, back in freshman year, but then their bassist graduated, so he’d had to learn to play a whole other fucking instrument in four months, natch.

“Would everyone—would everyone  _ please  _ quiet down! Please!” Dav yelled from the front of the room, and everyone went silent.

Andrew Davenport—or just  _ Dav _ —had graduated from Neverwinter High when Taako was a sophomore, but he’d been acting as a TA and assistant band director since the second semester of Taako’s junior year, and had full control of the IPRE jazz band.

Probably because he’d been the one who’d pestered Mr. M into letting them form a jazz band in the first place.

Probably also because he knew all his dumbass friends would get themselves killed  _ immediately _ without him.

“We’re playing through the set, and then we’ll go back and focus on Take Five once we’ve finished that. Sound good?” he asked the gaggle of children in front of him.

Everyone nodded except for Merle, who raised his hand.

“No, Merle, you cannot cover the sax solo on trombone, please stop asking.”

Merle slowly lowered his hand as the room broke into quiet laughter.

“Okay, alright, horns up, everyone. Taako?”

“‘Sup, Big D?”

Dav grimaced. “One, please, I’m begging you not to call me that. Two, make sure you don’t drag the fifth beat, alright?”

“Aye aye, captain,” Taako said, and twisted up the volume knob on his bass, smiling as he heard the low hum of his instrument underneath his fingertips.

He wasn’t a bard, didn’t have the charisma stat for that shit, but  _ damn _ did he love this.

Dav raised his hands and—

Was interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Oh shit, they’ve found me,” Carey murmured from the front row.

“Babe, what the fuck are you talking about?” Killian asked.

“The gay crimes.”

“You realise they’d have to arrest  _ all of us _ for that, right?” Killian asked. “Like, name one straight person in this band.”

“Uh,” Carey said, and then after a moment of silence, “Barry?”

“He’s bi as fuck,” Lup corrected. “Trust me.”

“Julia?”

“Nope,” Julia said. “I’m demi, actually.”

“Cool to know that I literally know zero straight people,” Taako interrupted, “but also who’s at the fucking door?”

“Oh, yeah,” Dav said, rushing over to the door. He gave them all one last Look TM before he let it swing open.

Behind it was quite fucking possibly the most beautiful boy Taako had ever seen, and that wasn’t even a joke.

The kid was  _ fine as hell _ .

High cheekbones, dark skin that was somehow completely free of acne, black dreads that seemed to be threaded with golden charms shaped like… bird skulls, which, okay, was sort of weird, but also a look that Taako could absolutely vibe with, no problem, and a jawline that could probably cut steel.

“Oh gods,” Taako muttered.

The boy said something to Dav in a hushed tone, and it was then that Taako noticed the black case by his feet, along with the stack of papers in his hand and the poorly-masked fear in his eyes.

Lup glared at him over Barry’s head.

_ What? _ he mouthed.

_ Stop it! _

_ He’s hot! _

_ Yeah, I know, I’ve got fucking eyes. Cut it out. _

Taako rolled his eyes and huffed, turning down his bass so he could fiddle along the strings without bothering anyone.

“Alright, class!” Dav said a moment later, leading the boy to the front of the room. “It seems we’ve got a new member of our little crew. Everyone, this Kravitz McDonald, he just transferred here from Goldcliff High, and he plays—what do you play?”

“Uh,” Kravitz said, and there was something about his voice, something that Taako could almost recognise. “Actually, I can play, um, just about anything, if you give me a few minutes and a piece of music, but mostly I play cello and saxophone.”

“Oh  _ fuck me _ ,” Taako whispered.

The kid—Kravitz—had an  _ accent _ .

Taako jolted as he felt something hit him in the side of the head, and when he turned to face his assailant, he saw none other than Lup, her pencil now pencil-top eraser-less.

Well, the joke was on her because Taako’s eraser had actually snapped off two days earlier, so.

Haha  _ fucking _ ha.

“So, Kravitz, if you’d like to take a seat up in the front of the room, you’re welcome to listen for today’s rehearsal, and then we can discuss what you’ll be playing after class,” Dav said, and Kravitz nodded before pulling one of the black posture chairs off of the rack and sitting it down behind Dav.

And right in front of Taako.

Jeezy  _ fucking  _ creezy.

“Okay, everyone. Starting from the top, repeating the solo line twice, Lup first, then Creesh,” Dav said, snapping out the 5/4 pattern. “And a one, two, one-two-three—”

And they were off.

Taako had found that there was something freeing about playing bass, about acting as the grounding force, the timekeeper, the constant. He could get lost in it, the rhythm, the pattern, the cut of steel strings against his fingers.

He loved it.

“Alright, okay, good—good rehearsal, gang,” Dav said after the final cut off. “Lup, don’t bust your chops on that solo, alright? We—we know you know how to play, you don’t have to try and prove yourself. Barry, you might want to turn the volume up a bit on Africa, you’re getting lost in there. Merle, you’re overblowing—”

“ _ Nice _ .”

“Thank you for that, Carey.  _ Anyways _ , Merle, we—we’ve talked about that. Other than that, it—it sounds really good. Pack up, we’ve got five ‘til the bell, and I want to be able to beat the pickup line out of here.”

“Hey, uh, Dav?” Barry said. “What about Kravitz?”

“Oh! Oh, yes, sorry, of course,” Dav said, spinning around to face Kravitz, who was…

Staring.

At them.

At Taako.

(Maybe? Gods.)

“It—yes. Sounded, um. Brilliant. Absolutely,” he said, pushing up his glasses.

_ Glasses! _

Seriously, though, this boy knew how to dress.

Black, skinny-fit slacks, black blazer, charcoal grey button-up, red tie, and a red and black pin-striped vest.

So, a bit fancy for a fucking  _ Thursday _ , but…

_ Damn _ .

“I was thinking we could put you on either tenor sax with Lucretia, or we could use you in the rhythm section on guitar. Taako had to take up the bass a few years back, and we haven’t had a guitarist since,” Dav explained, and Taako almost choked on his tongue.

Kravitz looked between Taako and Lucretia. “Either sounds fine to me, Mr. Davenport—”

“Oh, jeez, don’t—don’t call me that. Just Davenport is fine, or Dav—”

“Or Cap’nport!” Lup shouted, and Dav winced.

“Or—or that, I suppose. Anyway, you were saying?”

“Yes, um. I’m fine with whichever, honestly. It just depends on where you see the greater need.”

Dav sighed and looked out over the band. “Okay, why don’t you start on guitar, and if I decide I’d like you to be upfront with the saxes, we can move you,” he said.

Taako actually heard Lup mutter, “ _ Ah shit _ ,” under her breath.

Which…

Fair.

“Taako?” Dav called, and Taako froze. “Would you, ah, come here for a second?”

“Sure thing, kemosabe,” Taako replied, clearing his throat. “Hey, thug, what's, uh, what's your handle?”

He immediately wanted to, uh,  _ fucking die _ . He knew Kravitz’s name! Dav had fucking  _ announced it to the class _ , Barry had  _ just fucking said it _ , and now Hot British New Kid Kravitz was going to think Taako was, um,  _ an idiot _ , fuck, there went Taako’s fucking chances—

The boy blinked a few times. "Um," he said after a moment. "Kr-Kravitz?"

It sounded more like a question than an answer.

"Dope," Taako said, trying to hide his internal turmoil while also doing his best not to stare. The kid looked better up close. Who looked  _ better up close? _ "What's up, Cap?"

“I take it you heard what Kravitz and I were talking about?”

“Uh, yeah, this room was, like, specifically designed to carry sound, and you’re not exactly  _ quiet _ —”

“So you’re aware that Kravitz is going to be joining your section, at least in jazz?”

“Yeaaaaaah,” Taako said, turning to face Kravitz. “‘Cool. Great. By the way, forgot to mention, the name’s Taako.”

“Pleasure to, ah. Meet you,” Kravitz said, sticking his hand out for a handshake. Taako grinned and gave him a high-five instead.

“Absolutely, my dude. If you, like, have any questions about this hellscape, or, like, the rhythm section in general, hit me up, y’know?”

“I will… take that into consideration.”

“Dope. Uh. You wanna meet the rest of, like, everyone?” Taako asked, and Kravitz opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted by the bell.

“I would—I would love to, honestly, but I—I have to take my little brother home, so—”

“Yeah, no prob, my man. Later,” Taako said, grinning in a way he hoped wasn’t creepy. Kravitz nodded, grabbed his bag, and rushed out of the room.

_ Shit _ .

Lup appeared at Taako’s side a moment later. “So,” she said. “Did you, like, already beef it, or…?”

Taako groaned. “I don’t—jeez, Lup, I don’t know! He said he had to go get his brother, but, like, that was a hasty retreat if I’ve ever fucking seen one,” he said, pressing his head into her shoulder.

“I mean, why would he lie about that?” Barry asked from Lup’s other side.

“Uh, because he noticed that I’d been staring at him like a perv all hour and he wanted to get the fuck outta that interaction?” Taako grumbled.

“I tried to warn you,” Lup said with a shrug.

Taako didn’t even look up as he flipped her off.

“I’m sure Kravitz was telling the truth,” Dav said. “Now, is everyone—we all good? Magnus has a separate ride home after practice? Can we head out?”

“I think we’re good, Captain,” Lucretia said, coming to join their huddle. “Unless I’ve missed something…”

“Nope!” Taako insisted. “Let’s—let’s  _ go _ . I need a  _ nap _ .”

“Merle! Grab your shit, we’re leaving!” Lup shouted, pushing Taako’s head off of her shoulder and taking Barry’s hand in her own.

Taako gagged. ”Go be straight somewhere else.”

“Literally neither of us are straight.”

“Literally do I look like I fucking care.”

“I found a grey hair yesterday, and I’m 100% blaming you two for that,” Dav said. “Okay, crew! Let’s go!”

And the six of them spilled out of the band room door and into the afternoon sun.

And then, into a bright red van with the word  _ Starblaster _ painted onto the side in the most horrific paint job to ever grace Faerun.

They’d started carpooling when Dav got his license, the seven of them piling into Dav’s fifteen-seater. Creesh always rode shotgun, Merle always sat behind Dav, Magnus always sat beside him. Taako, Lup, and Barry took up the seat behind them, with Lup squished in the middle, while all their bags and instruments and whatever-the-fuck else were tossed into the back.

By now, Lucretia, Barry, and Magnus had their licenses, and everyone else  _ could _ get their licenses, technically, but still, they all piled into the Starblaster every morning and every afternoon.

“We doing dinner tonight?” Merle asked as he shoved his trombone in the back seat.

“That’s up to Lup, my man. I’m gonna get home and pass the  _ fuck _ out,” Taako said.

“I mean, I guess I could whip something up, but no one’s gotten groceries in, like, a week, and if T’s asleep there’s no one to transmute the fucking—all the tabasco sauce and canned corn into something, like, edible,” Lup said with a shrug.

“Is… is your cousin still out of town?” Lucretia asked.

“Oh, uh. Yeah. Got a message this morning, he should be back by tomorrow evening, but we spent the last of the grocery money a couple of weeks ago, so it’s been kinda sparse pickings around the ol’ Taaco-Adventurezone household lately.”

For a single, uncomfortable moment, the Starblaster was silent, and then—

“So, no dinner tonight,” Dav said. “I’ll pick you up at 7:15 tomorrow, okay?”

“ _ Gods _ ,” Taako groaned, slumping against Lup’s side. “Does Mr. M  _ want  _ me dead? Is this a plot? Is he planning to kill me?”

“Not to be, like, overdramatic or anything, but requiring us to be at the school at 7:30 in the morning does seem like a homophobic hate crime,” Lup added.

“Contest is—” Dav tried to say.

“Contest is in a  _ month _ , and we already have Tuesday night rehearsals and shit, I don’t get why we have to  _ suffer _ ,” Taako argued.

“You’re not even  _ in  _ concert band, Taako,” Lucretia said.

“Okay, yeah, but he knows that I hang out with you chucklefucks, right? Like, he must  _ know _ that I ride to school with you guys, we all get out of the same ugly-as-fuck van every morning—”

Immediately, said van was in an uproar.

“How  _ dare  _ you insult the Starblaster—”

“This van has provided me with more support than my actual father—”

“The Starblaster is going to be the godfather of my firstborn child—”

“ _ You’re _ the one who decided we should do the side in  _ graffiti letters _ —”

“Okay, okay, alright, I get it!” Taako shouted. “I—I repent of my fucking sins, I guess, fantasy-Jesus  _ Christ _ .”

For a moment, the van was quiet once again, and then Merle said, “So Mrs. Rowan is planning on giving me one of her cactuses.”

“That’s cool,” Barry said.

“Yeah, it’s in pretty rough shape, but I think with a little tender loving care it’ll be blooming those sweet,  _ sweet _ —”

“ _ Gods _ —”

“I’m  _ dying _ !”

“This is hell, this is  _ hell _ —”

“I HATE THIS IN PARTICULAR—”

“Dav, control your  _ fucking  _ boyfriend before I throw him through the godsdamn window, I’m not  _ fucking  _ kidding,” Lup snapped, and Taako couldn’t help but smile as he saw the tips of Dav’s ears turn  _ bright  _ red.

“Merle,  _ please _ ,” he muttered.

“Fine, whatever, I see how it is. Taako’s allowed to undress the goth kid with his fucking eyes but poor ol’ Merle isn’t allowed to express his appreciation for all of Pan’s creations—”

“In an ideal world, I wouldn’t be forced to imagine  _ any  _ of my close friends in sexual scenarios,” Lucretia said.

“ _ Creesh _ —”

“This house is a nightmare,” Barry mumbled, and Taako was inclined to agree, but lucky, at that moment, Istus smiled down upon him as Davenport pulled up in front of him and Lup’s cousin’s house.

“See you kids tomorrow,” Dav said as the two of them grabbed their shit and scrambled out of the van. “If you’re not in the van by 7:20 we’re leaving you.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay,” Taako said as he slung his bag over his shoulder, wincing as it hit his hip with an audible  _ thunk _ .

He couldn’t remember the last time both he and Lup had gotten in the Stablaster by 7:20.

Dav hadn’t left them yet.

Taako rolled his eyes, doing his best to hide the stupid smile on his face as he swung open the front door.

The Taaco-Adventurezone household was…

Okay, so, like, here’s the thing:

Beggars can’t be choosers, and likewise, homeless orphans can’t be picky about which distant relative they live with after being picked up off the street.

Was living their cousin, who was an elitist asshole and gone “for business” for months on end and often forgot they fucking  _ existed _ ideal?

No.

Was it better than living off of handouts and the fantasy-McDonald’s dollar menu and sleeping in a library conference room at night?

Absolutely.

And besides, it wasn’t like they needed much more than what they had. Most nights, when Taako wasn’t  _ absolutely fucking wiped _ from a garbage school day in which he made a complete ass of himself in front of a super hot new kid  _ with an accent _ , he’d just transmute whatever shitty bare-bones condiments and lunch meat and canned vegetables they had into something, y’know, edible.

They had a roof over their heads, clothes on their backs, food in their stomachs. Hell, they even had wifi. Cellphones. Lup got HRT, they both had a therapist they each saw once a week and together every other week. 

Things were, objectively,  _ good _ .

_ Taako  _ certainly wasn’t complaining.

“Home sweet  _ fucking  _ home!” he shouted as he waltzed into the living room of the two-bedroom townhouse and tossed his backpack on the floor by the door. “I’m going to  _ nap _ —”

“No you’re not,” Lup said, throwing her bag down beside his. “You’re going to go scroll through fantasy-Tumblr for two hours, eat some pita chips, fuck around on a ukulele for an hour, and then study fourth level spells until you pass out on top of your books.”

“Okay, no need to absolutely murder me in our own ho—”

“And  _ then _ I’m going to have to wake you up after I get out of the shower so that you don’t end up sleeping in your makeup, and  _ then  _ you’re actually going to go to bed.”

Taako stared at her for a moment, blinked twice, and shrugged. “I mean,” he said casually. “Yeah. That tracks.”

“You’re a dumbass.”

“Never said I wasn’t.”

In Taako’s defence, he wasn’t on fantasy-Tumblr for  _ two  _ hours, only an hour and a half, so, like, take  _ that _ , Lup. He could—he could be  _ productive _ . Plus, he’d figured out the strumming pattern for  _ Like Real People Do _ , and had almost mastered polymorph, so  _ that _ was dope as hell.

And maybe he  _ did _ fall asleep on top of his spellbook. Maybe. And maybe Lup  _ did _ have to wake him up once she got out of the shower. Possibly.

Look, he was only elven. Sue him.

(Actually, lawsuits cost a  _ shit ton _ of money, so don’t. Really, truly  _ don’t _ .)

“Hey, goofus, go shower so we don’t all have to deal with your stink all day tomorrow,” Lup said as she prodded his shoulder. “Also, your mascara is gonna glue your eyes shut, and if I have to hear you bitch about sleeping in your contacts one more time I’ll kill you.”

Taako glared up at her as he rubbed his eyes and stood. “You taken your estrogen?” he asked as he stretched and popped his back.

Lup rolled her eyes at him.

He raised an eyebrow at her.

"I've been doing this for  _ a decade, _ T."

"Cool. I've been making spaghetti for a decade, and three days ago I forgot the oregano in the fucking bolognese sauce. Shit happens. I'm here to make sure it happens  _ less _ ."

Lup scoffed. "You're kinda ridiculous, you know that?"

"That's just how Taako do, baby!"

Lup rolled her eyes. “How your ADHD ass manages to remember  _ my hormones _ but not, like, your  _ own fucking eating schedule _ will never cease to baffle me.”

Taako shrugged. “Guess that’s priorities for you.”

Lup frowned at him for a moment, and Taako could  _ feel  _ the rant she was about to launch into—stuff about  _ self-care _ and  _ prioritising himself _ and  _ realising that his own health was just as important as hers, so maybe he should start acting like it, godsdamn _ .

And honestly?

He wasn’t in the mood.

“I’m gonna go wash all the shit off my face, brush the ol’ chompers, y’know,” he said, sliding past her and into the hallway. “Could you toss me those pyjama bottoms? The ones on my bed?”

Lup did, but not before sighing and shaking her head. “Yeah, alright,” she said, throwing him the pants. “You know, at some point, we’re gonna have to talk about this.”

“Oh no, I, your brother, am too busy getting  _ actually naked _ and can’t hear you, guess you’ll have to come here, where I am, naked, to talk to me—”

“Okay, fuck, that’s—that’s the worst, I hate you, okay, I get it, fuck you, fuck, jeez, dear gods—” Lup said, slamming the door to their room shut.

Taako grinned and rolled his eyes.

He knew she  _ only wanted the best for him _ and all that shit, and it was—fuck, it was nice, okay, jeez—but also…

Taako was to emotions what water was to oil, so.

(Also, take  _ that,  _ Lucretia. He knew what a fucking analogy was. He could—he could do grammar shit, just because he wasn’t taking fucking  _ AP Common _ or what the fuck ever, gods.)

**

Angus was a smart boy. This—he wasn’t  _ bragging _ or anything, it was just  _ true _ . He was the smartest kid in his class, he always got his work done first, and he’d read  _ all _ the Caleb Cleveland novels, even though they were really,  _ really _ long.

He was a smart boy, so he knew that when his brother had  _ that  _ expression on his face, it meant he was being  _ super gay _ .

“Who is he?” Angus asked as he buckled his seat belt.

He was in the front seat, even though he was only 11, but it was fine because he was buckled up and he and his brother had pinky-promised to not tell their moms.

“Who is who?” his brother asked, raising an eyebrow.

Angus rolled his eyes. "The  _ boy _ , Kravitz. Who's the  _ boy _ ?"

Angus knew he got it right because Kravitz immediately started stuttering.

"What?!" he all but squawked, and Angus knew that, under his dark complexion, his brother was blushing. "There's—there's not—there's no—there's no  _ boy _ , why would there—why would you—why do you think there's a  _ boy _ ?"

Angus just blinked at him.

Kravitz sighed. "Okay, so there's a boy."

"That's a little bit obvious, Krav."

Kravitz narrowed his eyes. "Alright, Mr. Boy Detective, consider who's taking you to get ice cream after soccer practice this evening and choose your next words carefully."

Angus nodded. "Anyway. The boy?"

"The boy."

"Go on."

"He's… a boy."

" _ Kravitz _ ."

“Aren't you, like, 12? Why do you—you shouldn't care about—about  _ romance _ or anything. Kissing is gross and humans have cooties, don’t do drugs or necromancy—"

"Is the boy cute, Krav?"

Kravitz groaned. " _ Yes, _ he's cute! He's blond and he's got all these freckles and— _ shit _ , Angus. It's been one day! Not even a whole day! We didn't even get there until fifth period!"

"So what hour is cute blond boy in?" Angus asked.

"Seventh," Kravitz replied, which made sense given the absolute  _ state  _ he was in.

"At least you have all day to prepare?" Angus offered because even though he  _ was  _ smart and he didn't think kissing was  _ that _ gross, he didn't really know how high school crushes and stuff worked.

Kravitz groaned again. "That means I have all day to  _ stress _ —"

"Maybe you should try and have a more positive attitude, Kravitz."

"I  _ did the accent _ , Angus. I—the teacher opened the door and I saw this boy and I  _ panicked  _ and I—"

"Okay, considering this new information, I think you might actually have the right attitude after all."

"Great. Great! Awesome! This—this is fantastic. It's day one and I've already made a fool of myself in front of the  _ cutest boy I've ever seen _ —"

"Cuter than fantasy-Jared Padalecki?"

"One, don't ever mention that time of my life again, thanks, and two,  _ yes. _ "

"Shit."

Kravitz didn’t say anything, but the expression on his face said it all.

“So… besides the boy, how was your day?” Angus asked as he dug around in his bag for one of his notebooks. 

“Uh… good? I mean, as good as a first day at a new school  _ can  _ be. I didn’t get shoved into any lockers or anything, so that’s a plus,” Kravitz replied. “I’m playing guitar in the jazz band, and— _ shit _ , Angus, their jazz band is  _ good _ . Like—really, solidly good.”

“Oh, that’s—that’s good! Usually, if a school has a good jazz ensemble, it means their concert band is pretty, uh, good, which—is good.”

“Yeah. I don’t know if they use strings in concert performance, but even if they don’t, I’m sure they could always use another tenor sax,” Kravitz said.

“So, good band, cute boy—this all sounds really nice, Krav,” Angus said as he clicked his pen and started writing. 

“Yeah, I—it really does, doesn’t it?” Kravitz said, and there was something like a smile on his face.

Angus was glad. It’d been too long since his brother  _ really  _ smiled.

It wasn’t that Kravitz was _sad_ , really. He just seemed so _tired_ , like he was bored all the time. He always brushed it off when Angus asked, saying that it was just part of being a teenager, but Angus could tell it was getting to him.

It was part of why Angus had been so excited about the move. He knew the transition from their little school in Phandalin to a  _ massive  _ place like the IPRE would be difficult, at first, but there were so many more  _ opportunities _ here and so many more things to  _ do _ . They had  _ musicals  _ here, like,  _ at the school _ . That _students_ _ could be a part of _ .

“They’re announcing the school musical tomorrow,” Angus said. “I—I know we just got here, but I thought it’d maybe be cool if we—if we tried out? I… you’re a good singer, Krav, and I’m just a little boy, but I can read music and it sounds so  _ fun _ , and I’m sure it’d be a great way to make new friends—”

“Then you should do it, Ango,” Kravitz said. “You’d be great.”

Angus frowned. “But… I thought we could do it  _ together _ .”

“I… Angus, you know I’m not good in front of crowds—”

“You play in concerts and recitals all the time!”

“That’s  _ different _ ,” Kravitz insisted. “I—I’ve got an instrument, and music, and I don’t have to  _ look at people _ or  _ act _ —no, I… I’ll see if they’re going to have a pit orchestra, and if they do, I’ll try for that, but I’m not…”

“Okay,” Angus muttered. “But—you still think I should try it?”

“Absolutely,” Kravitz said. “You’ll be the best nine year old they’ve ever seen—”

“I’m  _ eleven _ —”

“You’ll probably get a Fantasy Oscar—”

“Those are for  _ movies _ —”

“And then you’ll get so famous they ship you off on tours all around the world, and you’ll get those fancy sunglasses, and you’ll forget all about us  _ little people _ —”

“I’ll never forget about you, Kravitz!” Angus promised, reaching over as far as his seat belt would allow to wrap his arms around Kravitz’s neck. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> taako is hopeless, kravitz is awkward, ren has good ideas, lucretia likes cookies, angus discovers the true chaotic energy of theatre kids, and the author vows to never write a scene with more than four characters _ever again_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what up! my musical is cancelled, I may not get to go to university, and I haven't had a hug in four weeks but it's fine because I've got all these fucking fictional characters that I can live through vicariously

Taako actually managed to fall asleep before midnight, which was a fucking  _ miracle _ , and when he woke up the next morning he felt like an actual  _ person _ as opposed to a reanimated corpse.

Lup was already in the bathroom when he stumbled out of bed, reaching his arms high above his head and wincing at the loud  _ pop _ of his spine fucking  _ snapping in half _ or whatever, so it was up to Taako to start breakfast.

Old, stale fantasy-Ritz Crackers were turned into thick slices of French bread, which Taako popped into the toaster. Margarine was transformed into cream cheese, which was mixed with just a bit of vanilla extract and sugar. Canned peas were turned into blueberries, canned tomatoes into strawberries. Coffee made, toast covered with cream cheese, then fruit, then plated. All of it balanced on an old TV dinner tray and carried back up the stairs.

“Breakfast is ready! Hurry the fuck up!” Taako shouted through the bathroom door as he placed the platter down on the shitty fantasy-IKEA desk they shared.

He took a bite of his toast and stared at the clothes he’d laid out the night before.

Burgundy skirt, black stockings patterned with white five-point stars, white high-necked blouse studded with fake pearls, high-heeled black ankle boots, long wine-coloured cardigan.

Cute.

Comfy.

Fashionable.

Functional.

Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.

Taako was working on the buttons of his blouse when the bathroom door swung open, revealing Lup, makeup and hair finished, wearing old, ratty  _ Hello Kitty  _ pyjamas.

“We’re almost out of highlighter,” Lup said as she hip-checked him.

“I’m free tomorrow if you wanna make a run to fantasy-Ulta,” Taako replied.

“Sounds good. Hey, is this a new spread recipe?” Lup said, holding up the piece of toast she was munching on.

“Yeah, changed the sugar-to-cream cheese ratio so that it wasn’t too sweet when you add the fruit—”

“I think it’d be really good if you add—”

“Added some lemon, yeah, that’s what I was thinking—”

“To balance the fruit. Yeah.”

“I’ll add it to the list,” Taako said, closing the bathroom door behind him.

_ Gods _ , sometimes it was annoying being this fucking hot. Like, he was gorgeous, natch, but it still took  _ effort _ , and sometimes it just…

Taako sighed and cast  _ Disguise Self _ .

Look, would it be a drain on his spell slots? Yes. Would it make AP Transmutation harder? Yes. Would it also mean he wouldn’t have to fuck around with an eyeliner pencil at fucking  _ 7:00 in the fucking morning _ ? Also yes.

“Cheater,” Lup said when Taako exited the bathroom a minute later, teeth brushed and hair pulled into a loose braid.

“Don’t hate the player, compadre,” Taako replied with a shrug. He grabbed his phone off his nightstand, his earbuds off the dresser, and a bag of jalapeno kettle chips from the snack basket under his bed. “Let’s rock ‘n roll.”

Lup rolled her eyes and grabbed her own phone/earbuds/snack combo before following him down the stairs.

They’d matched without even planning it, Lup’s jumper the same colour as Taako’s skirt, which would’ve been cheesy as hell on anyone else, but they were  _ LupAndTaako _ so it worked, obviously.

Dav was already pulled up outside their house by the time they made it out the door, bags slung over shoulders, instruments tucked under arms, pieces of toast in hands.

“Congrats, you guys were almost on time today,” Lucretia said as they slid into their seats. Everyone else was already seated, and Barry was playing fantasy-Animal Crossing on his fantasy-Switch.

He was also getting  _ stung by wasps  _ in fantasy-Animal Crossing, probably, which Taako knew because Barry usually got too distracted by Lup entering the van to pay attention to his game.

Which was…

_ Disgusting _ .

“Fuck off Creesh,” Taako said, slamming the door closed behind him. “Not all of us have our entire fucking lives written down in a fancy-pants planner—”

“Speaking of, you have voice lessons today, and Magnus, you have a game at home this evening, and it is, of course, announcement day—”

Taako was pretty sure that they shook the van with the sheer volume of them all yelling at once.

Magnus was chanting, “Announcement day, announcement day, announcement day,” like he was trying to summon the fucking Dark One. Merle was trying to bribe Lucretia into giving him hints by offering her a trip to a spa. Lup was hypothesising with Barry. Davenport looked like it was taking all his concentration to keep the Starblaster on the road.

The Starblaster gang had all been a part of the annual all-school musical since Taako and Lup had joined the IPRE in the second grade. Taako, Lup, Merle, and Magnus were all part of the cast, with Magnus also working on the set crew, Barry running tech, Dav acting as adult supervision now that he’d graduated, and Lucretia assistant-directing.

Or, she  _ had _ been assistant-directing. Their lead student director had graduated the previous year, which meant...

“You  _ sure  _ you don’t got any hints for us, Madame Director?” Taako asked, leaning forward around the edge of Magnus’ seat. “No hot insider information for your favourite—your favourite idiot thespians?”

Lucretia smiled. “Now, that would hardly be fair—”

“Bullshit. Spill the tea, Creesh.”

“Absolutely not. This tea—the tea is going to remain in the pot, the pot is sealed shut, airtight, there is no—no chance of any spillage—”

“I will make an entire batch of elderflower macarons, just for you. No sharing. Just—just lean over and give Taako those  _ good  _ deets, and—”

“I’m not—you can’t  _ bribe  _ me, Taako—”

“Why not?” Taako asked, leaning all the way forward so that his head was pretty much between Magnus and Merle’s. “Are you—are you a cop, Lucretia? Lucretia, are you a cop? Lucretia, if you’re a cop you have to tell me or else it’s entrapment.”

“She can’t be a  _ cop _ , Taako,” Lup said, whacking Taako on the shoulder. “She’s asexual, and the first rule of the _Starblaster_ is—”

“Be gay, do crimes!” Taako yelled.

The van cheered.

“You idiots are gonna get  _ so  _ arrested,” Davenport muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Only if they catch us first!” Magnus shouted.

“ _ Anyway _ ,” Lup said, shoving Taako’s head out of the way. “Lucretia, dear, since you’re  _ not _ a cop, you really should take my ridiculous baby brother up on his offer and—”

“No. No, absolutely not. You all will just have to wait like everyone else.”

“This is homophobia,” Magnus muttered, and Lucretia scoffed.

“I’m sure.”

“Okay, okay, every—everyone out! I’ve got to go sign in before they send me another  _ fucking _ notice about punctuality,” Dav insisted as he pulled into his designated teacher parking spot. “And don’t leave anything in my car! Merle, that  _ especially  _ means you!”

All seven of them tumbled out of the Starblaster, instrument cases tucked under arms and backpacks slung over shoulders and coffee cups and tupperwares in hand.

“You got any theories?” Barry asked as they made their way into the band room. “Y’know, about the show?”

“Uh,” Taako said, setting his bass down next to one of the cabinets. “I mean—nothing solid, y’feel? Just—we did a more contemporary show last year, so it’ll probably be something more classic, and we’ve got a good number of guys this year, so—yeah. Something older and more guy heavy? Especially since a bunch of us are graduating this year and they’re gonna wanna show us off—”

“Bluejeans! With your section!” Mr. M shouted from the front of the room, and Taako watched as Barry’s face turned red. “Taako, if you’re not going to sign up for concert band—”

“Then I can’t be here first hour, yeah yeah, I gotchu. I’ll be outta your hair in no time, teach,” Taako replied, straightening the strap of his messenger bag. He blew a quick kiss to Lup, gave Magnus the bird, winked, and made his way to the band room door.

And promptly ran head-first into someone carrying a massive, black instrument case.

“Yo, thug, watch where you’re walking! Some of us wanna get to class  _ without  _ getting a fucking traumatic brain injury,” Taako said, rubbing his forehead.

“My, uh, my apologies,” the voice from behind the case replied.

The  _ accented  _ voice from behind the case.

The case that looked to be about cello-sized.

_ Fuck _ .

“Oh, shit, you—sorry, dude, I didn’t know it, was, uh, you,” Taako stammered as Kravitz’s face appeared from behind his cello. “You—fuck, you okay? Did you drop anything?”

Damn it,  _ damn it _ , now he was—he was trying too hard, and Kravitz was going to think he was a  _ nerd _ , fucking— _ fuck him sideways _ , fantasy-Jesus Christ.

“No, I’m—I’m good, actually,” Kravitz said, smiling awkwardly.

He had  _ braces _ .

He had braces and he was  _ still hot _ .

Hatchi matchi.

“Oh. Cool. Great. Awesome. I’m just gonna…” Taako said as he slipped past Kravitz, holding onto the brim of his hat.

“Are you—are you not—isn’t this first hour band? Um, concert band?” Kravitz asked, a concerned look on his face.

“Oh, yeah, dude. I’m just—there’s not a lot of space for electric bass in arrangements of fucking fantasy-Granger. I mean, I doubled the tuba part for marching band, we’ve only got two sousas and I didn’t want Avi and Barry to fucking—I didn’t want them to  _ die _ , but it's not marching season anymore, so…” Taako rambled, his face heating up.

“So you’re… not? You’re not in first hour?” Kravitz asked.

“Nope.”

“But I thought you had to be in first hour to be in jazz band?”

“You, uh. Technically. Yes. Yeah. You do. But Dav pulled some strings for me and now—”

“Taako! For the last time, if you’re not going to lend your musical abilities to my band, then—”

“I’m  _ going _ , Mr. M! Just wanted to, uh. Just wanted to welcome ol’ Kravvy here to first hour! You know, like a  _ responsible, kind student _ ,” Taako said, winking at Kravitz as he finally exited the band room. “Have a good day, my dude. Good fucking luck.”

And with that, Taako raced down the hall.

Fuck. Also shit. Also?

_ Fuck _ .

Could he maybe have  _ one  _ conversation with Hot Cool Cute British Musician Goth New Kid without looking like a total dingus? Just one? Please?

“Fuck me,” Taako groaned as he slumped down onto a seat in the cafeteria.

“Uh, we’re both, like, gay as hell so I’ll pass, but thanks for the offer I guess,” Ren said, not even looking up from her book.

“Then kill me. Take me  _ out _ . End my suffering now, that I may not live to see another traitorous day,” Taako said, throwing his arms in the air.

“It’s almost musical season.”

“Kill me  _ after  _ the show, then. Final curtain closes and  _ boom _ ! I expect to be dead on the floor. No hesitation.”

“Can I ask  _ why  _ you crave death?” Ren asked, finally looking up at Taako. He groaned.

“Okay, so, do you—have you met the new kid?”

“The new kid?”

“Yeah, the—he’s new. I dunno what grade he’s in, but hopefully it’s, like,  _ ours _ . Or maybe a junior. Defo no younger than that, though,” Taako said.

“You like him.”

Taako slammed his head against the table. “ _ Yes _ , Ren! Yes! He’s—cute! Hot, actually! He plays, like,  _ all  _ the instruments! He’s nice and shit!  _ He has an accent _ !”

“Oh jeez.”

“ _ Yeah _ ! I’m  _ dying here _ , Ren!”

Ren patted Taako’s head sympathetically. “Shit’s rough.”

“Shit is—shit is  _ absolutely _ rough. I—I’ve talked to him  _ twice _ , and it’s been a  _ disaster both times _ . I—Ren.  _ Ren _ . Ren, I need to boost my charisma stat, like,  _ ay-sap _ because this is… a travesty.”

“You could… you could make him food? You’re good at that, is that—is that anything?”

“Yeah, uh, it’s  _ creepy as fuck  _ and  _ going to get me institutionalised _ , is what it is.”

Ren sighed. “Okay, alright, you—you’ve maybe got a point, there. But what if, like, you made cookies today during FACS, and then you took some to the band room, and the Hot Boy just so happens to be there and oh, you’re not  _ that  _ much of a jackass, he can have a cookie too,” she said. “Upside: you get cookies. Upside two: Hot Boy learns you’re a baller chef. Upside three: I also get a cookie because I’m an amazing friend who gave you this kick-ass plan.”

Taako pondered it for a moment and then grinned. “You know,” he said, “that may just work.”

“Don’t sound so surpri— _ shit _ ,” Ren was interrupted by the shrill alarm of the bell and quickly hopped to her feet, slinging her bag over her shoulder. “I didn’t realise— _ fuck _ .”

Taako was on his feet immediately, grabbing his bag and staff and racing towards the cafeteria doors.

Getting to class in the morning was  _ warfare _ . If you didn’t have a strategy or a game plan, it got  _ ugly _ . Taako had seen many a good man fall to the hoards of angsty, sweaty, hormonal teens.

Usually, Taako had it down to a fucking  _ art _ . Leave the cafeteria three minutes early, slip out while the teachers were talking, say he was headed to the office or the bathroom or to talk to a teacher if anyone asked  _ what he was up to _ , don’t act jumpy or do anything to raise suspicions.

He and Ren usually made it all the way to the FACS room before the bell even  _ rang _ , but not today—no, today he’d been  _ distracted _ by  _ Kravitz _ and now—

Now he was going to die.

Actually,  _ literally _ die.

“I am actually,  _ literally _ dying,” Taako said as he bumped into a kid who was either a beardless dwarf (weird) or super-jacked freshman ( _ super fucking weird _ ).

“It’s like sharks!” Ren yelled. “Move or die!”

What followed was maybe the best dex roll of Taako’s life. He wasn’t  _ exactly _ sure what it was, but it must’ve ended up being in, like, the 19-20 range because ch’boy was  _ bobbing  _ and  _ weaving _ and  _ ducking  _ and  _ dodging _ like it was what he was fucking  _ made  _ to do.

He made it all the way to the FACS room with a minute to spare, panting and heart racing as he dropped down into his seat, the adrenaline of the life-or-death situation wearing off. Ren entered the room a moment later, slumping into the seat next to him and resting her head against his shoulder.

“I’m going to  _ kill _ all the freshmen. All of them. There will be no survivors,” she muttered.

“What happened?”

“These little fuckers were playing  _ tonsil hockey  _ in the middle of the hallway, I had to do some fantasy-Olympics shit to get around them. I—Taako, I’m not kidding when I say I almost lit them on fire.”

“Please don’t murder children,” Taako replied. “If only because if you get expelled I’ll be in here  _ alone _ and then I’ll  _ die. _ ”

Ren sighed. “Fine,” she said. “No child murder, but only because I love you.”

“Hell yeah you do,” Taako said with a grin. “You wanna help me make those cookies and also, like, whatever the fuck it is that we’re  _ actually _ supposed to make?”

“So… a ham sandwich?” Ren asked. “For the  _ fourth day in a row _ ?”

“Fucking—fucking probably,” Taako sighed. “This class is a joke.”

“Yeah, and not a very funny one.”

“Y’know, if I ever—if I ever opened up a school, it’d be a fucking  _ lot _ better than this bullshit,” Taako said as he made his way over to one of the kitchen spaces and started pulling ingredients. “There’d be—duels. Got an issue with someone? No problem compadre, light their ass  _ up _ . And the classes would cover  _ important  _ shit, like—taxes and grocery shopping and bills and how to use transmutation to make food less shit. It’d be  _ awesome _ , and people would line up for miles and miles to get into  _ Taako’s Amazing School of Magic _ .”

“Sounds like you’ve thought about this a lot,” Ren said.

“Nah, not really, just—in passing. This place  _ blows _ . Makes you think about what an actually  _ good  _ school would be like,” Taako explained.

Ren looked at him for another moment before smiling and turning back to the lunch meat and bread in front of her. Ren was a good sous-chef—reliable, responsible, a good listener, good with a knife. The first time they’d met, she’d acted like the sun shown out of Taako’s ass, which was somehow both flattering and made Taako extremely uncomfortable.

The cookies came out perfect, natch. Crisp on the outside, soft on the inside, with the perfect ratio of chocolate to cookie. The sandwich was… as good as a lame-ass ham sandwich could be, really. Taako was tempted to smear it with pimento cheese, grill it until it was light brown and crunchy, add avocado and tomato and a bit of pepper.

He didn’t.

He  _ really _ couldn’t afford to get sent to the principal’s office today.

The cookies were smuggled into a tupperware under the counter and shoved rather unceremoniously into Taako’s bag.

After he and Ren had each had, like, seven.

Look, they were _good fucking cookies_.

The rest of the day was… slow. Most days were. Taako made it through the rest of FACS and then Common, Show Choir, lunch, AP Transmutation, AP Planar Physics and trig until fucking _finally—_

“Hail and well-met, nerds!” Taako said as he waltzed into jazz. “I made cookies.”

“ _ Fuck _ yeah!” Carey yelled, almost dropping her saxophone in her rush to get to her feet.

“I—you’re not supposed to  _ eat  _ right before you  _ play _ , this is—c’mon, guys,” Dav said as he exited the office, exasperation evident on his face.

“They’re chocolate chip,” Taako said in a sing-song voice, holding a cookie out to Davenport.

He sighed, took it, and ate it in two bites.

Taako grinned as he was swarmed for his chocolatey baked goods. “They’re different,” Lup said as she took a bite. “What—”

“Had to transmute the butter from vegetable shortening,” Taako explained. “There’s always a little bit of holdover.”

Lup nodded. “And you just decided to make cookies from the goodness of your heart?”

“Yup!” Taako replied quickly. “I—That’s me, baby! Taako  _ Goodness of the Heart _ Taaco-Adventurezone!”

Kravitz chose  _ that exact moment _ to step into the band room, eyebrows raised.

Lup smirked.

Taako kicked her in the shin.

“Hey, uh. ‘Sup, Kravcakes?” Taako said, smiling at Kravitz with his most charming smile. “Wanna cookie? They’re homemade.”

“I—I probably shouldn’t,” Kravitz said. “I—chocolate gets stuck in my brackets, and then it’ll get all over my reed, and—”

“C’mon, thug, live a little. Even Dav had one, it’s fine,” Taako insisted, waving a cookie in front of Kravitz’s face.

“Hot  _ diggity  _ shit,” Lucretia said at that moment, winking at Taako from behind Kravitz. “That is one  _ baller _ cookie.”

Kravitz blinked a few times. “I, uh, if you—if you insist,” he said, carefully taking the cookie. He slowly took a bite and his eyes widened.

“Yeah, huh? They—look, we don’t mess around when it comes to cookies, compadre. Taako ain’t no fool,” Taako said with a grin.

“It’s—wow, that’s—these are very good, Taako,” Kravitz said. “I—Thank you.”

“No prob, my good dude! That’s how we do!”

Lup smirked at him again, and Taako (subtly!) elbowed her in the ribs.

“Alright, everyone, it’s—thank you, Taako, for the cookies, but we  _ do _ have a performance coming up, so everyone in your seats, you have five minutes to tune!” Dav called from the front of the room. “Taako, make sure Kravitz knows where the amps are, will you?”

“Aye aye, Cap’n!” Taako replied, smiling at Kravitz. “C’mon, I’ll show you the amp bathroom.”

“The—the  _ amp bathroom _ ?”

“Hell yeah, my dude. It’s the bathroom where we keep the amps.”

“Oh. Of—of course,” Kravitz said. “How could I—what else could it be?  _ Obviously  _ it’s the  _ bathroom _ where you keep the  _ amps _ .”

“Nuh-uh, not  _ you _ .  _ We _ . Welcome to the rhythm section, bubbeleh.”

Kravitz just nodded, seemingly at a loss for words.

The amp bathroom was home to about four amps: Taako’s, Barry’s, and two more that were there  _ just in case _ .

Turns out  _ just in case _ ’s name was Kravitz and he had a British accent. Who knew, huh?

“Here,” Taako said, handing one fo the smaller amps to Kravitz. “This should work for now. Probably. Everything we have here is kinda old and kinda shitty so, like, if you have your own equipment you wanna bring, feel fuckin’ free. Gods know I would if I could.”

“Thanks,” Kravitz replied, taking the amp in one hand and—shit. Was he buff? Was there—was there  _ beef _ underneath that sweater vest?

“You can go—Hey Barry! Barold! Wave!”

Barry waved.

“Yeah, okay, so that’s Barry, you can go set up next to him.”

“Are you sure you don’t need any help?”

“Nah, I’m—Taako’s  _ good _ , my dude. Just—don’t about it. Ch’boy’s got it.”

Kravitz looked skeptical even as he carried his amp over to the rhythm section.

And Taako  _ did _ have it, actually. He just had it with, like. A lot of grunting and groaning and staggering and maybe almost toppling over a few times. It—it was  _ fine _ . Sometimes you just rolled low on a strength check. He was a  _ wizard _ , cut him some fucking  _ slack _ .

“You done showing off?” Lup asked as he passed her.

“What? I’m not—I’m not  _ showing off _ —”

“You made cookies—”

“I’m trying to be  _ nice _ —”

“You’re carrying your own shit instead of making Barry or Avi or Killian do it—”

“I carry my own shit  _ all the time _ —”

“You used  _ Disguise Self  _ this morning—”

“That was actually just me being lazy—”

“Babe. Chill,” Lup said, putting a hand on Taako’s shoulder. “Either he likes you or he doesn’t, and if he doesn’t than it’s his fucking loss, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” Taako replied. “No need to get—don’t get  _ feelings-y _ on me, Lulu.”

“Me? I would never. Now go get set up before Dav rips us a new one, ‘kay?”

Taako grumbled as he moved to set up.

Kravitz’s loss.

Pft.

Sure.

He was  _ Taako _ , alright? He could bag any boy he wanted, no sweat.

No sweat.

**

Apparently, Angus was supposed to meet in the high school cafeteria after school for the musical announcement. At least, that’s what the intercom announcement in the morning said.

Problem: Angus had no idea where the high school cafeteria was.

Solution: Angus was the world’s greatest detective, he was pretty sure. He could find a  _ cafeteria _ .

Problem: detectiving,  _ apparently _ , didn’t have a one-to-one corollary to directional skills.

Solution: a tall, blonde elf wearing a burgundy skirt and a lot of jewellery stopped him in the hallway near the band room and said, “You lost, little man?”

“Oh! Uh, yes, sir, I’m afraid I am. I was looking for the cafeteria—”

“Okay, first off, the name’s Taako, that’s T-double-A-K-O, you don’t have to call me  _ sir _ , I’m not—I’m not  _ old _ ,” the elf interrupted, rolling his eyes. “Second of all, you going to hear the musical announcement?”

“Oh yes s—Taako. Taako, sir. I’m new to this school and I—the musical sounded like an awful good way to make friends!”

The elf blinked at him. “Alright,” he said. “Good news, bubbeleh. You’re talking to the vice-president of the _Institution for Pursuits in Research and Education_ drama club. Follow me, kid. I’ll get you where you need to go.”

“Oh, thank you, sir!”

“Seriously, quit with the  _ sir _ shit. I’m only, like, 18. That’s not even a real adult.”

“Actually, Taako—”

“Hey, kid? Shut it,” Taako said, rolling his eyes. “What’s your name, anyway? I never caught it.”

“Oh! I’m Angus, sir! Angus McDonald!”

“Alright then,  _ Angus McDonald _ ,” Taako said with a lopsided grin. “Stick with me, alright? Just—go with me, okay?”

“Okay—Taako? Sir, we’re not—we’re not about to do anything illegal, right? Or against the rules? Because you said that like you were about to do something illegal, and I don’t think my moms would be okay with me getting arrested before dinner,” Angus explained.

Taako smiled at him. “Nah, we’re all—we’re all above board, here. Well. Mostly. Unless you count, like, online piracy and shit. I’ve got  _ so  _ many illegal downloads, kid. I’ve cost fantasy-Hollywood  _ millions _ .”

“If you say so, sir.”

Angus followed as Taako led him down the hall and to a set of large double doors, which he pushed open with more  _ pizzazz _ than Angus had ever seen a person use on doors before in his entire life.

“Alright, I’m here, we can finally get this party  _ started _ !” Taako shouted as he entered the cafeteria. Immediately all heads turned towards him.

“Who’s the kid?” a boy—man? He must’ve been in high school but he looked more grown-up than any student Angus had ever seen—with a bushy beard and thick nerd-ass looking glasses asked.

“Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten Angus!” Taako said. “I know you’re getting up there in years, old man—”

“I am  _ one single fucking year older than you _ , Taako—”

“But surely you haven’t gone senile enough to forget my dear delightful adopted little bro!”

Angus blinked up at Taako for a moment, and the elf’s eyes were wide in a clear expression of  _ go with me, here _ . “Oh, yes, sir! How could you forget me, Taako—Taako’s precocious kid sibling, Angus!”

He must’ve rolled a pretty good deception check because the bearded dwarven boy (man? how old  _ was _ this person?) looked properly confused.

“Honestly, Merle, next you’ll be telling me you’ve forgotten Magnus or Luce or Barry or Dav,” Taako said, clearly indicating to a few of the other people standing around the cafeteria. “Or, lord  _ forbid _ , Lup!”

With that, he pointed at another elf who looked  _ exactly like him _ .

Angus almost sighed in relief. Surely, this second person, who was  _ obviously  _ related to Taako, would put an end to this goof—

“I’m honestly offended on Ango’s behalf! Our sweet, precious baby brother has never done  _ anything wrong in his life _ _ever_ , and you can’t even  _ remember who he is _ ,” the other elf— _ Lup _ , apparently—said, shaking her head and making soft  _ tsk _ -ing noises under her breath.

She must’ve  _ also  _ rolled well because Merle almost looked ashamed.

Another girl, one with dark skin and curly white hair who taako had identified as  _ Lucretia _ , rolled her eyes. “Lup, Taako, please stop tormenting Merle. It’s not his fault he’s old,” she said, and Merle glared at her with an offended look on his face. “And, please, return—Angus, was it? So sorry about this, Angus—to wherever you found him before his parents press kidnapping charges.”

“Oh no, ma’am, Taako didn’t kidnap me!” Angus said with a smile. “I want to be here! I’m here to discover what the musical is! Taako just showed me the way and, uh, used me to pull a goof on his friend!”

“Is that so?” Lucretia said, looking between Taako and Angus like she expected Taako to be in the middle of bribing him with Turkish Delight or holding a gun to Angus’ back.

“It was a good goof,” another kid—Magnus—piped up. “I—not gonna lie, you almost had me there for a second.”

“Just a second?” Lup asked.

“Maybe three seconds, but definitely no longer than that.”

Taako and Lup looked at each other and shrugged. “We’ll take it,” they said in unison.

“Hey, uh, guys? Not to interrupt this episode of _Fantasy_ _ Practical Jokers _ , but I’m, like,  _ dying _ to know what the fuck we’re doing this year, so…” a blue dragonborn girl said, spinning her hands in front of her chest. “Could we uh,  _ move it the fuck along _ ?”

“Of course,” Lucretia said, clearing her throat. “Are we—are we waiting for anyone else? Anyone else we know is coming?”

“Hurley has taekwondo,” a tall drow wearing a leather jacket said. “I’m just gonna text her.”

“Dav is grading papers—” Merle started, but Taako cut him off.

“ _ Pretty sure _ Dav can’t be in the musical,” he said, “because  _ he’s no longer a student _ .”

“Are you guys talking about Mr. Davenport?” Angus asked. “He’s my band director! I’m new, so he hasn’t been my band director for  _ that _ long, but he seems very nice!”

All of the high schoolers looked at him with weird, kinda mushy looks on their faces.

“Yeah, kid, that’s—that’s Dav,” a boy who Taako had called Barry said. “He’s—he graduated a couple of years ago. He’s our friend.”

“ _ Your  _ friend,” Merle said with a wide smile and a wink.

“Is that—is that even allowed?” Angus asked as he looked at Merle with concern.

“I mean, Merle’s technically only a year younger than him, and Dav is an intern, not, like,  _ hired staff _ , plus nobody really—it’s not important,” Barry said. “Don’t worry about it, kid.”

Angus nodded, staring at the group of people in front of him.

They seemed… weird. But not, like, in a  _ bad _ way. Just in a  _ teenagers in the fine arts program and actually just teenagers in general are really weird  _ way.

“Okay,” Lucretia began again, “So if  _ everyone is here _ —”

“We’re all here!” a half orc girl shouted. “C’mon, Director! Just spit it out!”

“If everyone is here, I can announce the show!” Lucretia said quickly, as if she was desperately trying to get it out before anyone else interrupted her. “If I could get a drumroll, please.”

Merle started smacking his smacking. Magnus was banging on a cafeteria table. The half-orc girl was rolling her tongue. A bunch of people were hitting their knees. Taako and Lup were making motorboat noises with their mouths. Barry was just saying  _ bada bada bada bada  _ really quickly.

“This year's spring musical will be... _ Into the Woods _ !” Lucretia said loudly.

The room burst into applause.

“Is that—Taako, sir, is that  _ good _ ?” Angus asked. He’d never done a musical before—his old school hadn’t had a theatre department—and he didn't really know that much about Fantasy Broadway, only that sometimes Kravitz hummed songs that he said were from _Fantasy West Side Story_.

“Ango, my dude, that is  _ excellent _ ,” Taako said with a grin. “Ch’boy’s gonna be Prince Charming, no fucking doubt. This is gonna be  _ sick _ .”

“Are there—are there parts for little boys in _Into the Woods_?” Angus asked.

“Kid, one of the lead roles is a little boy, which is—okay, ew. Gross. Gross-a-rooni. That—that’s got bad mouth feel. The feel of those words in my mouth? Less than stellar,” Taako said, scrunching his face up. “But either way, there’ll be a part for you if you audition. Even if you’re not part of the cast, you can be in the crew. We don’t—we don’t turn people away, here, kiddo.”

Angus smiled.

He was pretty sure he was going to really like being in the musical.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave a comment!

**Author's Note:**

> comments are greatly appreciated, especially since this is gonna be a Long Boi and i'm gonna need Encouragement.
> 
> also, there's no posting schedule here! no backlog! y'all are getting this whenever the Sentimentality and Inspiration Strikes, but good news! that's pretty fucking often, recently, and i've got nothing but free time. hang in here with me, guys.
> 
> love y'all. stay safe.
> 
> -Gabe
> 
> (also my Tumblr is @allonsy-gabriel feel free to show up and yell at me about this AU or anything, really)


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